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Yoga

Repetition of vs Repeating (an Asana)

April 29, 2018

Your body exists in the past and your mind exists in the future. In yoga, they come together in the present. – BKS Iyengar

The other day one of my students mentioned (rightly so) that in my class he spends a lot of time in Adhomukha Svanasana. Other classes he’s attended didn’t repeat asanas as much our class.

Why the repetition?

The thing is, we might be doing the same asana over and over again, but we’re not actually repeating it. Emotionally, physically and mentally, the asana is different every single time we redo it. Each time we execute it, we go deeper. We look at nuances, uncover hidden depths. It’s a new asana every time. In Trikonasana, for instance, I can focus on the alignment of my ankles, or on my shoulder blades, or the rotation of my spine, my drishti, or the alignment of the femur and shin, or even the extension of the metatarsals and soles. To maintain awareness simultaneously on all the factors that build the Trikonasana is hard, and we practice to achieve that. And, if for a moment we attain that state, we meditate upon what it taught us, what we learned.

I frequently come across posts on social media about ‘flipping your perspective’ or ‘get a new perspective’ and usually such posts are usually accompanied by pictures of Sirsasana (headstand) or Adhomukha Vrikshasana (handstand). In an Iyengar yoga class, you will gain new perspective and flip existing ones while doing basic asanas repetitively, constantly, consistently and persistently. To gain new perspective, we don’t really need to look beyond what we already have. Perhaps all we need is to be more attentive.

Take the Trikonasana above for instance. We can always focus on bending to the side and making contact with the toes/foot/ankle/ground. Or we can focus on bringing out the various triangles in the posture more distinctly and intensely.

Your focus will determine the quality and maturity of your practice and your life.

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Yoga

How to Manage Your Fears and Face Them Head On

November 2, 2017

When I needed a wall behind me for the Sirsasana.

Halloween got me thinking about fear. As a society we value fearlessness. As people we take pride in saying, “I’m fearless.”

But I’ve never met anyone who is fearless. Some fear pain, some fear solitude, some fear poverty, some fear for the safety of their near and dear ones, aging. Over the years I’ve heard of the fear of pigeons, fear of sprouts, fear of going bald.

A strategy that used to work for me was to avoid the cause of my fear. But, it turns out, there are some fears you can’t avoid.

When I was ill I wasn’t able to practice for what felt like a very long time. My teacher once told us that if you don’t practice for a day, it’s equivalent to putting your practice back by seven whole days. As each day passed, I thought of all I learned in Pune. With so much time on my hands I became increasingly anxious, nervous and fearful.

In the path of Yoga there are inevitable roadblocks and problems. But Yoga is a holistic practice so the solution also lies in the practice. The first limb of the Ashtanga (8 Limb) yoga practice is Yama. The Yamas are set of 5 ethical principles that practitioners must adhere to. One of the Yamas is aparigraha or ‘non-attachment’. As yogis we become too attached to the practice. Some of us feel guilty if we are unable to practice. Others push themselves too hard. Some pride themselves on the asanas that they can do. We stop enjoying the journey, we focus only on the destination. And in the process become attached to the destination.

I am very attached to my asana practice. I spend a lot of time trying variations, reading, watching and experimenting. When I can finally do an asana I feel a sense of accomplishment. There is nothing wrong with feeling good about finally attaining something that you’ve worked hard for. But if you beat yourself for not attaining the final asana despite a rigorous practice; or start to lose faith in the path because your goal seems far, far away; then you need to take a fresh look at your attitude and approach.

I was fearful of discovering the state of my yoga practice post illness. If you’ve read this blog, then you know that I was significantly weakened by the illness. Waking up every day to practice felt like an exercise in futility. It was scary to try asanas and not know if I would be able to do them. Asanas which I ‘owned’ before. But I guess by force of habit I kept on returning every morning…to fail. Until one day I started improving.

And that’s when I realized that fear can’t be ignored. You can’t not think about the object of your fears. It doesn’t help to face fear head on. Fear can only be managed, one day at a time. You don’t have to look at the entire marathon, you need to look at the Majaa run first. You don’t have to dwell on whether you’re going to get the job, you only need to work on giving the best interview ever. You don’t have to worry about the Sirsasana (Headstand), you just have to work on doing a very good Adhomukha Svanasana (Downward Dog).

BKS Iyengar once told Patricia Walden (who was struggling with a heavy case of depression) to ‘Take one step no matter how small.’ I realize this is what I have been doing ever since I’ve gotten back on the mat.

Do you have a strategy to deal with fear?

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Travels

Dengue Fever – My Story

October 15, 2017

Baddhakonasana.

I was supposed to come to Delhi on the 18th of this month and leave on the 21st. Since I took two months off from teaching to study in Pune, I felt I should get back as soon as possible. With this in mind I messaged my students that classes would start on the 2nd of Oct.

But on the 28th of September I started feeling a bit tired and my appetite disappeared. I found out from some other students that it was a 24 hour virus that was going around. I managed to drag myself to class on Friday and Saturday, but collapsed in bed post class on both days. My sister was slated to visit me for a day on Saturday and I willed myself to get better. I popped a few Crocins on Thursday and Friday and hoped the fever would sweat out of my body. On Saturday the sis arrived and I was still a little shaky. But I was tired of laying in bed all day, infirm. We set out for the Osho park and I hoped that being out and about would make me feel better. I returned that night as tired as ever.

Kakuli & I in the Osho Gardens.

With Sneha in the Osho Gardens.

The next day was the 1st of Oct. I got to Bangalore and once again collapsed in bed. The virus was supposed to be only a 24 hour virus and I was sure that I would be better in the next couple of hours.

I took classes on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. It was great to see my students again, but I still didn’t feel 100% myself. I didn’t have the energy to do my own practice and I couldn’t figure out why. I felt that if I was able to drive myself to classes then I should be able to practice too. At the same time I started to question the meaning of life and dwell on its futility.

I pinged my sisters that someone had given me the evil eye because what else could be wrong? I had no appetite and I was listless. I asked a friend of mine how to get rid of the evil eye and went out and even went out to buy a packet of red chillies.

Upon my mom’s insistence I went to the doc. I’d never had to go to the doctor and so actually had to ask some people in my building for the closest reliable and trusted doctor. The doc asked me to get a platelet count done and also to check for Typhoid and Dengue. The results showed my platelet count was 80000 (below normal range but not life threatening) and I tested positive for Dengue. The doc and my mom gave me an ultimatum. The doctor hooked me up to an IV and pumped glucose and Paracetamol into my system. My friend booked a ticket for me to Delhi. I went home and threw some stuff into a suitcase. Then I collapsed until another friend arrived to drop me to the airport.

No one in my family has ever had Dengue fever, but because this disease reaches epidemic like proportions every year in Delhi, everyone knew what to do. Since I fell sick I’ve heard of so many other people who’ve fallen sick during or after their time at RIMYI. Usually Dengue fever lasts anywhere between 5-7 days and it takes a person almost 2 weeks to completely recover. Because of my regular yoga practice I feel I was able to fight the infection relatively quickly. I had fever for about 2 days and was able to attend and conduct classes soon after.

This was the first time I fell sick (thanks to the yogi lifestyle) and my recovery was remarkably quick too.

Here are a few things I learned from getting this disease. Hopefully this will help you in combating the disease.

Use your mosquito repellent. I’ve heard Citronella oil, Eucalyptus oil and Neem oil also keep the mosquitos away.
Don’t fight the idea that you might be infected despite taking all sorts precautions. I was almost in denial as I told the doc that I was going about my normal active life and didn’t understand how I could be infected.
Take care of yourself – as yogis we sometimes put self-care on the backburner. Cancel your classes and try and sleep. Allow the fever to do what it will and focus on resting.
Allow someone else to take care of you. You’ll have someone to tell you that life isn’t over. I can’t remember the last time I spent so much time at home, but it made my recovery that much faster and more pleasant.
When I had a fever all I felt like eating was apples and drinking cold water. Looking at even a slice of toast made me want to throw up. Before I found out it was Dengue I felt I should force myself to eat a little bit or I would fall sick. Now I know that loss of appetite is a symptom of Dengue and my body craved hydration.
Monitor your platelets count daily!
Papaya leaf juice works like a charm. Take some papaya leaf juice and water and grind them in your mixer. Strain and drink.
Sleep!
Catch up on your reading. I renewed my Kindle Unlimited subscription and my Goodreads saw a lot of activity too.
Don’t worry about your practice/classes/work. Once your mind and body are well rested, you’ll be back with a bang.

I hope to never ever be sick again. This illness has reinforced my belief in making healthy choices every day without fail or excuses. Sometimes getting an infection can’t be prevented but being in good health ensures you fight the infection like a boss. This illness has also made me grateful for all the wonderful people in my life. People who wake up early to drop you to the airport, people who check up on you in the middle of the night, those who ping you from around the world to make sure you’re OK. I was lucky to be able to fly home at a moment’s notice and my mom was ready. I’m grateful to my mother’s maids who knew where to get papaya and giloy leaves and promptly brought them home. Even my tattoo artist reached out to me!

Any disease takes a toll on you physically, but if you have people around you who love you and care about you, you win the battle sooner. I had loads of people who were there for me, and for that I can never be thankful enough.

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Yoga

Paying Homage

August 24, 2017

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Last Sunday was BKS Iyengar’s punyatithi (death anniversary). There was a function organised by the institute in which Abhijata spoke.

When I got to the institute (half an hour early), it was buzzing with activity. Students were helping to arrange mats on the floor for all of us to sit on and technicians were taking care of the audio/video system. The program started with the invocation to Patanjali and then Abhijata took the stage.

Her speech was a combination of personal memories of her grandfather, his approach to yoga, his method of teaching, his commitment to the subject and his belief system. A nice little addition was the re-enactment of scenes from BKS Iyegnar’s classes, where the rest of the teachers went up on stage and pretended to be students as Guruji taught. Abhijata did her best impersonation of the disciplinarian Guru while we tried to imagine our teachers in the plight that we so often find ourselves in.

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What I really liked about Abhijata’s speech was how she wove the lessons learned with personal anecdotes. When talking about how Iyengar yoga helps us in cultivating a sense of peace or understanding who we really are, she said the Guruji had once said ‘My sole and soul is the same.’ Meaning that it is through the understanding and awareness of the gross body that he was able to cultivate insight. You need to work so hard, make your body so potent that you can escape gravity. Although anatomy is a rigid structure, you can’t pinpoint where the body ends and mind begins. Your inner working has to be revealed through your outer self.

She also said that yoga is a living art. Asana is a metaphor for life. Yoga teaches you how to navigate through problems in life. Chitta vritti has to come so that you can learn how to deal with it. Action can’t guide, reflection does. The prakriti has infinite potential, so it is possible to change our lives. As an analogy think of a farmer laying the groundwork for his crops. He does his best without thinking of the mechanics of how the seeds will sprout. He lays the groundwork and the seeds sprout on their own. Similarly, we must put in the practice, and everything else will also fall in place.

Life is to live. Your sensitivity to yourself and the world around you increases through the practice of yoga, and this heightened sensitivity helps you to solve your problems. For this your tapas has to have fire. Your practice should have drive, passion and zeal.

It was fitting then that Abhijata ended her speech a little teary eyed and saying ‘He taught me how to live.’

Recounting experiences with BKS Iyengar

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Travels Yoga

Finding Balance

December 29, 2016

One of the highlights for 2016 for me is the workshop with Manouso Manos. Most yogis will recognize the name. A long time student of BKS Iyengar, Manouso sold everything he owned and came to India in the 70s (in his mid-20s) with his wife. And they both went back year after year to practice with the master and to discover themselves in the process. And now, decades later, I feel that he was able to put us a bit more in touch with ourselves, though we only had 5 days together. I usually blog about my trainings and workshops, however, this time I had resolved not to write about the workshop because I realized after the 1st day that this was more experiential and would require a little reflection, and therefore, it would be difficult to write about the ‘teachings’.

I’m still not going to talk about what I learned. My students will experience the difference in class and my friends will hear about it all the time (as they have been for the last couple of weeks). However, there was something Manouso would repeat during classes which I found intriguing. BKS Iyengar said, “Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured.” Manouso would say something to the same effect.

Every once in a while he would say something like, ‘Find balance in the imbalance.” or “Find a state of equanimity in the chaos.” And once even, “Use the problematic pose to fix the problem!”

During the course of the 5 days he would say variations of this every once in a while, and I would think if only he’d allowed us to take notes I could jot down his exact words. But unfortunately, we weren’t allowed to take notes.

However, what BKS Iyengar said decades ago and what Manouso was telling us now, is perhaps the single most important mantra for our lives and times. Since the new year is just around the corner, most of us are thinking (if only fleetingly) about our resolutions for next year. It’s important to think about resolutions. Last night I jotted down a few thoughts for next year, and its a good way to let your subconscious know that there are a few things that need to make a home in it. But I think the overriding idea and the main message we should all keep in mind is ‘Find balance in the imbalance.’

2017 isn’t going to magically change us and the lives we live. Your approach to your food or relationship choices won’t change overnight. You won’t start to miraculously wake up early and magically stop procrastinating. Because real change comes from within. And instead of us trying to go the 100-0 way, what we can do is try our best to keep our resolutions, but at the same time accept that to change habits requires a little bit of hard work, time and patience. Basically find a balance in the imbalance of life.

Taking it a step further, I would suggest to those of you looking at establishing a fitness routine to work with what you’ve got. Don’t plan on waking up early AND working out. That’s two resolutions you have to work on at one go, and if you’re unable to keep one, then you miss the other as well. If you’re not an early riser, then sleep in. Workout when you get up, if you have that sort of flexibility in terms of time. Or workout once you’re done with work for the day. It will be easier to keep your workout resolution during your waking hours than when you’re fast asleep. And being under slept and cranky don’t amount to having a good time at the gym.

Whatever the constraints in your life, there is a solution. Until then, find a balance in the imbalance. Learn to endure that which you can’t cure.