Travels

Colonial Echoes and Gelato Flavors: Mysore’s Hidden Charms

September 2, 2024
The Metropole Hotel in Mysore has interesting nooks that make for great reading corners.

Our recent holiday to Mysore had a hint of colonial charm and was peppered with interesting flavors of gelato…

I believe there’s a difference between traveling and holidaying, and both are mutually exclusive.  When I travel I see, observe, learn and do.  When I holiday I assimilate.  On our recent visit to Mysore, I found myself appreciating its tranquil charm in a way I hadn’t before. The broad, tree-lined avenues, the elegant colonial architecture, and the notable absence of towering buildings and construction sites transported me to a bygone era.  I could almost picture a white Ambassador “speeding” importantly down the road…

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Travels

2 Days in Bangalore (Beyond MG Road)

August 25, 2024
I love this picture of St. Mark's Cathedral from Cubbon Park, it really gives a sense of how large the park was once upon a time.

I love this picture of St. Mark’s Cathedral from Cubbon Park, it really gives a sense of how large the park was once upon a time.

Kalindi’s arrival has brought many good things into our lives, including dear friends who had lost touch over the years.  I guess the arrival of new life is about hope and optimism, something that everyone can relate to.

I’m in touch with some of my earliest yoga students.  Recently Louise and her daughters visited us in Bangalore.  I used to teach Louise in Wellington, and reading this blog that she wrote about my classes back then made me nostalgic.  It’s been about 12 years since we last met!

What do you do with friends who’re coming to Bangalore for the first time?  I mean there’s only so much coffee you can drink as you marvel at the great weather.  I’ve lived in Bangalore since 2005, and pride myself in knowing a bit more about the city than the average resident.  So I took it on as a challenge and asked myself how I can showcase my city beyond MG Road.

So we had one of those slow weekends, the kind where you can slow down and fall in love with Bangalore all over again.  This is how you can make the most of 2 days in Bangalore…

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Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

What I Wish for My Daughter on This Independence Day

August 15, 2024
Kalindi and I on her first Independence Day.

Kalindi and me on her first Independence Day – India’s 78th.

While I was pregnant my husband got me a notebook that has writing prompts for letters to our unborn child.  A time capsule of sorts, to be given to the child on their 18th birthday.  The other day the prompt was “My wishes for you are…”.

As a woman living in one of the fastest developing nation, I straddle the delicate balance between the haves and the have nots.  I often wonder about independence.  For most women in India today, to be independent is to be financially independent.  But over the years I’ve noticed that making your own money is worth nothing if you don’t have the freedom to spend it.  Thus, independence for a privileged woman in a developing nation, is a nuanced concept.  Privilege itself is a nuanced concept.

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Postpartum Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

Exercising After a Cesarean Delivery – 4 Things to Remember

August 4, 2024
new haircut

I’m five months postpartum and this past week I fit into my old low-waisted skinny jeans.  I’ve written about honouring the first forty days and the importance of postpartum repletion.  I believe that’s something every woman who has given birth should do, regardless of c-sec or normal delivery.

After those forty days I was eager to quickly get back into my ‘usual’ routine.  I was being inundated with old wives’ tales about exercising after a cesarean  – such as not walking too fast or bending forward for an entire year, and even the myth about the chronic pain after an epidural.  So, as usual, I did some research.

I believe the following four guidelines optimised my recovery.

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Asana Pregnancy/Parenting Notes Yoga

Conception to Postpartum in a Series of Weekend Yoga Workshops

July 16, 2024
I've taken this picture so many times at Bellur, and never thought one day I'd be posing with my daughter.

I’ve taken this picture so many times at Bellur, and never thought one day I’d be posing with my daughter.

I spent the past weekend in yoga workshop with Murlidhar sir, a yoga teacher who played an instrumental role in my pregnancy journey, from conception to postpartum.  This blog was supposed to be about taking a 3.5 month old to a yoga retreat.  But as I wrote it, it became a game of connect the dots.  It turned into a blog about how I attended a weekend yoga retreat in 2019 and met an impressive but little known yoga teacher who would one day have a profound impact on my life.

My journey has been nothing but magical or, as my gynaecologist would say, ‘a miracle’.

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Postpartum Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

9 Things New Moms Should Stop Feeling Guilty About

June 28, 2024
Luxuriating in the water while my baby sleeps.

Pregnancy is often projected as a glow-y, rosy time.  Very little is written about postpartum.  Pregnancy is a time when everyone is extra careful and kind to the expectant mother.  This often changes very quickly post delivery.  For me it was as though within only a couple of hours reality changed beyond recognition.  Sudden it’s all about the baby, and as the mother you’re at the receiving end of unsolicited advice and stifling opinions.  With the fireworks of hormones that’s going on in your system, most women I know (including me), have found this time stressful and difficult, compounded by feelings of mom guilt.

The best advice I received when I was pregnant was to maintain balance.  To not let the baby consume everything, including me.

But new mom-guilt is real, and not something we can wish away easily.  But, there are certain things I feel we should stop feeling guilty about.

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Newborn Pregnancy/Parenting Notes Travels

5 Tips for Traveling With a Newborn

June 18, 2024

Enjoying a ride in a vintage Ambassador in Hampi.

Traveling with a newborn is an adventure.  When I fell pregnant our friends told us to travel in the first three months of the baby’s life.  They stay exactly where you left them and as long as they are fed, clean and rested – things are good.  While I agree with this, it’s not so simple.  A crying baby in the car, dirty diapers, bored baby….how do you manage all this and still enjoy the trip?

We’ve been on two trips with Kalindi (so far).  Both trips were between 2-4 nights long.  We planned these holidays such that we would have family time interspersed with some sightseeing.  Which brings me to my first tip.

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Books Postpartum Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

My Postnatal Repletion

June 5, 2024
Many women swear by ajwain water and silver glasses. It tastes good!

Many women swear by ajwain water and silver glasses. It tastes good!

The strangeness of postpartum isn’t written about enough.  There are few books about the state of new motherhood.  It’s as though the mother is pushed into oblivion by mountains of dirty diapers and midnight feedings.  No one talks about learning to inhabit the postnatal body and mind.  A mind that is usually bewildered.  A body whose contours are unfamiliar.  A depleted body.  In need of postnatal repletion.

I recently read ‘The Postnatal Depletion Cure‘ by Dr. Oscar Serrallach.  In it he describes postnatal depletion, and validates the millions of women struggling to find themselves postpartum.  Postpartum depletion comprises all the symptoms a woman experiences post delivery, such as the change in sleep cycle, the psychological strain and the emotional disturbances, social isolation and the hormonal changes.  He argues that the postnatal body is nutritionally depleted, especially if the mother is breastfeeding.  This depletion combined with a lack of sleep and the expectation that a woman seamlessly slip into her new role contribute to women experiencing long-term health problems even years after birthing their babies.  He suggests post delivery women focus on postnatal repletion.

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Newborn Postpartum Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

My First Mother’s Day

May 12, 2024

It’s 8 pm and it’s the first time I’ve sat down today. By the time I publish this blog it might be after midnight.

I have been planning my first mother’s day for the last week. I washed my hair and chose an outfit. I googled the Water Monkey Cafe and imagined having coffee and a chocolate muffin with the Bangalore rains in the background. Maybe even taking some Instagram worthy photos with my munchkin.

This morning I finished packing for our first trip with Kalindi. I spent a few hours going through Kalindi’s clothes so that she’s nice and cozy in Coorg. I’d contemplated swim diapers, then decided a chlorinated pool was too risky for a one and a half month old. I imagined two restful days with Kalindi and Animesh in the verdant Coorgi hills with its crisp, inviting weather. Continue Reading

Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

My Birth Story

May 5, 2024

A healthy baby is exactly what our wonderful team of doctors brought to us, and for that we are ever grateful.

I didn’t expect that I would write about my birth story soon after my First Trimester – A Recap blog, but life is full of surprises.

My water broke at around 9.50 am on Sunday the 24th of March, catching me completely off guard three weeks before my due date, and in the middle of a very interesting Vedanta lecture.  I hobbled to the bathroom as quickly as I could, wondering why I wasn’t able to hold the pee in and also wondering why there was so much of it.  Within minutes I had decided I was doomed for a lifetime of incontinence because I hadn’t assiduously done my kegels.

I was supposed to attend a get-together after my Vedanta class and although I had a premonition that something wasn’t quite right, I still got ready to go.  Just as I was about to exit my house I decided to listen to the incessant voice inside my head that told me to call my doctor “just to be safe.”

“What do you think?” my doctor asked me.  “Do you feel it’s urine or do you feel like your water broke?”

“Well if this is urine,” I said.  “My bladder has never produced so much before!”

At the Hospital

At the hospital they confirmed that my water had broken and induced me because there were no contractions.  My gynaecologist was enjoying her Sunday but soon came in to check on me.  During a routine checkup the previous Thursday, I was only 2 cms dilated.  Now on Sunday, after four excruciating hours of labor, I was still only 2 cms dilated.

That’s when my doctor said the dreaded ‘C’ word.  I was in more pain than I’d ever been in life, cumulative.  “Noooooo….” I moaned, thinking of all the horror stories I’d heard about C-sections.

“Listen,” my doctor attempted to reason with me.  “You’ve had a wonderful pregnancy, everything went just like you wanted to.  This is the last step.  Don’t risk it now.  Delay may lead to distress for the baby and exhaustion for you.”

I continued writhing in pain.  My contractions were coming in faster and more painfully.

“Are you scared of the stitches then?” she continued.  “Look, if you’re reluctant because you think a normal delivery doesn’t involve stitches then remember that even in a normal delivery you may need an episiotomy which takes it’s own time to heal.  There is not much of a difference between a natural delivery and caesarean.”

I looked at my husband with feverish eyes.  I know he would support me in whatever decision I took, but he was also considering the risk, and watching me writhing in pain.

“OK!” I screamed as the next contraction wracked my body.  “Let’s do this.”

The anaesthesiologist tried to make conversation with me when I was wheeled in.  “What are you expecting?” he asked me.

“A healthy baby,” I told him.

And a healthy baby is exactly what our wonderful team of doctors brought to us, and for that we are ever grateful.  But…

The Aftermath

I recently finished reading My Caesarean: Twenty-One Mothers on the C-Section Experience and After.  It’s a collection of essays about the c-section experience, and it helped put my experience into perspective.  I resonated with every story.  An unexpected c-section is something many women have a hard time coming to terms with.  It’s an unplanned turn of events resulting in surgery and recuperation, and that is overwhelming.

Groggy from all the antibiotics and painkillers, many women struggle to make sense of what happened, how it happened and the millions of other ways it could have gone.  Many feel the birth experience was ‘stolen’ from them.

Have I come to terms with the fact that my healthy, active, radiant, fabulous pregnancy ended with a c-section?  Maybe not just yet.  But like a friend of mine said to me, “Give up resistance.  That’s yoga too….”