Blog - yogawithpragya

Conception to Postpartum in a Series of Weekend Yoga Workshops

July 16, 2024

I’ve taken this picture so many times at Bellur, and never thought one day I’d be posing with my daughter.

I spent the past weekend in yoga workshop with Murlidhar sir, a yoga teacher who played an instrumental role in my pregnancy journey, from conception to postpartum. This blog was supposed to be about taking a 3.5 month old to a yoga retreat. But as I wrote it, it became a game of connect the dots. It turned into a blog about how I attended a weekend yoga retreat in 2019 and met an impressive but little known yoga teacher who would one day have a profound impact on my life.

My journey has been nothing but magical or, as my gynaecologist would say, ‘a miracle’.

4 Comments

Postpartum Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

9 Things New Moms Should Stop Feeling Guilty About

June 28, 2024

Luxuriating in the water while my baby sleeps.

Pregnancy is often projected as a glow-y, rosy time. Very little is written about postpartum. Pregnancy is a time when everyone is extra careful and kind to the expectant mother. This often changes very quickly post delivery. For me it was as though within only a couple of hours reality changed beyond recognition. Sudden it’s all about the baby, and as the mother you’re at the receiving end of unsolicited advice and stifling opinions. With the fireworks of hormones that’s going on in your system, most women I know (including me), have found this time stressful and difficult, compounded by feelings of mom guilt.

The best advice I received when I was pregnant was to maintain balance. To not let the baby consume everything, including me.

But new mom-guilt is real, and not something we can wish away easily. But, there are certain things I feel we should stop feeling guilty about.

0 Comments

Newborn Pregnancy/Parenting Notes Travels

5 Tips for Traveling With a Newborn

June 18, 2024

Enjoying a ride in a vintage Ambassador in Hampi.

Traveling with a newborn is an adventure. When I fell pregnant our friends told us to travel in the first three months of the baby’s life. They stay exactly where you left them and as long as they are fed, clean and rested – things are good. While I agree with this, it’s not so simple. A crying baby in the car, dirty diapers, bored baby….how do you manage all this and still enjoy the trip?

We’ve been on two trips with Kalindi (so far). Both trips were between 2-4 nights long. We planned these holidays such that we would have family time interspersed with some sightseeing. Which brings me to my first tip.

0 Comments

Books Postpartum Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

My Postnatal Repletion

June 5, 2024

The strangeness of postpartum isn’t written about enough. There are few books about the state of new motherhood. It’s as though the mother is pushed into oblivion by mountains of dirty diapers and midnight feedings. No one talks about learning to inhabit the postnatal body and mind. A mind that is usually bewildered. A body whose contours are unfamiliar. A depleted body. In need of postnatal repletion.

I recently read ‘The Postnatal Depletion Cure‘ by Dr. Oscar Serrallach. In it he describes postnatal depletion, and validates the millions of women struggling to find themselves postpartum. Postpartum depletion comprises all the symptoms a woman experiences post delivery, such as the change in sleep cycle, the psychological strain and the emotional disturbances, social isolation and the hormonal changes. He argues that the postnatal body is nutritionally depleted, especially if the mother is breastfeeding. This depletion combined with a lack of sleep and the expectation that a woman seamlessly slip into her new role contribute to women experiencing long-term health problems even years after birthing their babies. He suggests post delivery women focus on postnatal repletion.

0 Comments

Newborn Postpartum Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

My First Mother’s Day

May 12, 2024

It’s 8 pm and it’s the first time I’ve sat down today. By the time I publish this blog it might be after midnight.

I have been planning my first mother’s day for the last week. I washed my hair and chose an outfit. I googled the Water Monkey Cafe and imagined having coffee and a chocolate muffin with the Bangalore rains in the background. Maybe even taking some Instagram worthy photos with my munchkin.

This morning I finished packing for our first trip with Kalindi. I spent a few hours going through Kalindi’s clothes so that she’s nice and cozy in Coorg. I’d contemplated swim diapers, then decided a chlorinated pool was too risky for a one and a half month old. I imagined two restful days with Kalindi and Animesh in the verdant Coorgi hills with its crisp, inviting weather. Continue Reading

3 Comments

Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

My Birth Story

May 5, 2024

I didn’t expect that I would write about my birth story soon after my First Trimester – A Recap blog, but life is full of surprises.

My water broke at around 9.50 am on Sunday the 24th of March, catching me completely off guard three weeks before my due date, and in the middle of a very interesting Vedanta lecture. I hobbled to the bathroom as quickly as I could, wondering why I wasn’t able to hold the pee in and also wondering why there was so much of it. Within minutes I had decided I was doomed for a lifetime of incontinence because I hadn’t assiduously done my kegels.

I was supposed to attend a get-together after my Vedanta class and although I had a premonition that something wasn’t quite right, I still got ready to go. Just as I was about to exit my house I decided to listen to the incessant voice inside my head that told me to call my doctor “just to be safe.”

“What do you think?” my doctor asked me. “Do you feel it’s urine or do you feel like your water broke?”

“Well if this is urine,” I said. “My bladder has never produced so much before!”

At the Hospital

At the hospital they confirmed that my water had broken and induced me because there were no contractions. My gynaecologist was enjoying her Sunday but soon came in to check on me. During a routine checkup the previous Thursday, I was only 2 cms dilated. Now on Sunday, after four excruciating hours of labor, I was still only 2 cms dilated.

That’s when my doctor said the dreaded ‘C’ word. I was in more pain than I’d ever been in life, cumulative. “Noooooo….” I moaned, thinking of all the horror stories I’d heard about C-sections.

“Listen,” my doctor attempted to reason with me. “You’ve had a wonderful pregnancy, everything went just like you wanted to. This is the last step. Don’t risk it now. Delay may lead to distress for the baby and exhaustion for you.”

I continued writhing in pain. My contractions were coming in faster and more painfully.

“Are you scared of the stitches then?” she continued. “Look, if you’re reluctant because you think a normal delivery doesn’t involve stitches then remember that even in a normal delivery you may need an episiotomy which takes it’s own time to heal. There is not much of a difference between a natural delivery and caesarean.”

I looked at my husband with feverish eyes. I know he would support me in whatever decision I took, but he was also considering the risk, and watching me writhing in pain.

“OK!” I screamed as the next contraction wracked my body. “Let’s do this.”

The anaesthesiologist tried to make conversation with me when I was wheeled in. “What are you expecting?” he asked me.

“A healthy baby,” I told him.

And a healthy baby is exactly what our wonderful team of doctors brought to us, and for that we are ever grateful. But…

The Aftermath

I recently finished reading My Caesarean: Twenty-One Mothers on the C-Section Experience and After. It’s a collection of essays about the c-section experience, and it helped put my experience into perspective. I resonated with every story. An unexpected c-section is something many women have a hard time coming to terms with. It’s an unplanned turn of events resulting in surgery and recuperation, and that is overwhelming.

Groggy from all the antibiotics and painkillers, many women struggle to make sense of what happened, how it happened and the millions of other ways it could have gone. Many feel the birth experience was ‘stolen’ from them.

Have I come to terms with the fact that my healthy, active, radiant, fabulous pregnancy ended with a c-section? Maybe not just yet. But like a friend of mine said to me, “Give up resistance. That’s yoga too….”

A healthy baby is exactly what our wonderful team of doctors brought to us, and for that we are ever grateful.

3 Comments

Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

Kalindi

April 24, 2024

Kalindi,
She is Durga Maa
Born to avenge both Gods and mortals alike.

Born of Surya and Sanjana, the goddess of the clouds
And twin sister of learned sage and guru, Yama.
She is also Krishna’s beloved wife.

She is the shimmering Yamuna,
Whose waters turned dark when Shiva fell into them
in search of succor for his boundless grief.

Our Kalindi, born on the colorful festival of Holi
Heralding a new Spring in our lives.

5 Comments

Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

First Trimester – A Recap

April 11, 2024

Now that I’m in my third trimester I wanted to do a recap of my first. Here’s a detailed video about it. I hope this blog resonates with other women who are on the conception/pregnancy journey. It’s also serves as a record of this very special time in my life.

Something ‘Was Up’

I first knew something ‘was up’ when my period was late. I was in Nagpur to train with Honey Unnikrishnan, my Mohiniyattam teacher. I expected to get my period towards the end of my time there. It was a strenuous five days, with up to 10 hours of dancing daily.

During the two week wait, women are told to rest and relax. But I had spent numerous two-week-waits resting and relaxing unsuccessfully, and didn’t want to miss out on dancing with my teacher. My period was never late, and I chalked it up to all the rigorous physical training I was doing.

In Nagpur with my Mohiniyattam teacher, Honey Unnikrishnan.

The Positive Pregnancy Test

I’ve had numerous negative pregnancy tests. I wasn’t eager for yet another one. But we were headed to Goa, and I wanted to make sure that it was OK to do eat drink and make merry while I was there.

I did a home pregnancy test and it was positive. It was the result we’d been waiting for but now that I had it, I couldn’t believe it. Later that day my doctor confirmed the pregnancy through a TVS scan. I will never forget her words. “This is a medical miracle! You’re a medical miracle!”

For the four days we were in Goa I was paranoid about losing the pregnancy, so I kept checking to make sure I wasn’t bleeding. It was an unsettling feeling. The entire vacation felt different, although we weren’t doing anything different from what we usually do in Goa. My mornings had changed though – I could no longer stand the smell or taste of coffee. In a way this was the first casualty of my pregnancy hormones.

Our Goa trip was probably our first and only trip during the first trimester.

Riverside dinners in Goa.

My Symptoms

Never have I experienced hunger like I did in my first trimester. I once ordered and ate an entire pizza before dinner, and went on to have the a full dinner. I desperately wanted to maintain a balanced and healthy diet – but that hunger was phenomenal and during the first trimester (or even afterwards) I never denied myself food. Also, if I tried to ‘ignore’ my hunger then I’d be nauseous. Elaichi (cardamom) also helped to keep the nausea at bay.

I also discovered that ‘morning sickness’ is a misnomer. My nausea lasted all day. It would get worse if I ate too little, but also if I ate too much. When I spoke to my doctor about this she replied, “Be thankful that you’re eating.”

Women always remember their pregnancy food cravings. In my first trimester I had few cravings, but many aversions. I didn’t want any hot liquids like tea or even soup. I couldn’t stand the thought of foods I felt were “heavy” like millets and rajma. I didn’t even like the taste of water. I ate white rice, wheat rotis and had sips of water. Also, my cravings changed every two weeks!

What I did like though was slightly spicy food. And pickles!

I think knowing what I wanted to eat and didn’t made it easier to plan the menu. Also listening to my cravings instead of blindly following a diet helped the cravings and aversions easier to manage.

What I wasn’t ready for was the intense fatigue. I wanted to crawl into bed as soon as I put my students into savasana. I took multiple naps through the day. I slept more in my first trimester than I ever have.

Overall my first trimester was great because I was traveling and eating well and the pregnancy was a strong, healthy one.

Rakhi during my first trimester. Some of my clothes had started to become snug.

Exercise

I discovered that walking was a great way to keep the digestive system moving (which sometimes gets sluggish because of all the pregnancy hormones). Also, it helped with the nausea. So I borrowed a smart watch from my mother in law and aimed to get 10000 steps in daily. I even studied for a Sanskrit exam while pacing the hallway in my house!

I also did some yoga. My doctor was a bit concerned about this, but as she saw the pregnancy blooming, she supported my fitness initiatives. Didn’t do challenging or advanced asanas. I demonstrated in class, but was very very careful. I had a routine designed for me by my teachers and I stuck to that. Pre-natal yoga isn’t about conquering new asanas, or proving that your body can bend deeply despite a pregnancy, but about preparing the body for the changes that are inevitable on this journey. I think this made me appreciate yoga a lot more.

I stopped Mohiniyattam though. My teacher felt it’s for the best as I’d only been dancing for a year and, unlike with yoga, I may not be able to control how hard I bend, stretch or stamp my feet.

I went to Goa again with my mother in law and two of her friends. Read my blog on it here.

Many women have asked me what I did differently that month to get pregnant. I’ve wondered the same thing. The only difference I can think of now is that I decided to focus on what made me happy, which was my practice, whether Mohiniyattam or yoga. Or maybe it was a little luck and a lot of faith.