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Empowered to Advocate for Myself

March 5, 2024

I feel empowered to advocate for myself today. The journey to conception has variegated shades. For many it’s as easy (or as inconvenient) as an accident. For others it’s about cycle tracking, second guessing, fretting and despairing. The other day in Vedanta class we were talking about how if you live consciously, every event in life, whether good or bad can help in inner growth. My conception journey, and subsequent pregnancy, have actually been a time of immense growth for me.

I’ve come across many women whose health issues have led to a deeper and more meaningful connection to themselves. In this conversation with filmmaker Roopal Kewalaya, we spoke about how she experienced a closer connection to herself because of her experience with endometriosis and how she now feels that illness is your friend, not an enemy. It’s a wonderful, heartening conversation that all women should watch.

Here are a few important lessons which held me in good stead.

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Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

The Fat Girl’s Pregnancy

March 5, 2024

The other day we went out for lunch with another pregnant couple we know, and as usual we took some photos after lunch. The photos were amazing, what with Bangalore in full bloom. But looking at them later I felt a twinge of discomfort. My friend is further along than me and she barely looked pregnant. In fact she was radiant, glowing and happy. All I could think when I looked at myself was would I ever go back to what I looked like before? Welcome to the trials and tribulations of the fat girl’s pregnancy.

One of the most read blogs on this site is this one where I write about my struggles with weight loss. I’m surprised more women aren’t discussing this. Pregnancy weight is different for women who used to be overweight. The fat girl’s pregnancy isn’t an excuse to eat whatever she wants and get away with it. Instead, we gingerly analyse every new bulge. We know we’re not eating for two, and remember that with every morsel we eat. We don’t bask in our ‘pregnancy glow’.

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Pregnancy/Parenting Notes Prenatal

The Disturbing Narrative Rampant in the Prenatal Fitness Domain

February 25, 2024

There’s a disturbing narrative rampant in the prenatal fitness domain. It’s about women being encouraged to push themselves to continue their workouts with the same intensity as before they fell pregnant. Many coaches are even saying that you can get stronger during the pregnancy. The first time I heard this I involuntarily cringed.

The last 8 months have been transformative for me on many levels, including the physical. I’ve always maintained (perhaps controversially) that my life is not structured around my yoga, but that my yoga is structured around my life. I think this is the reason behind my robust sense of intuition.

My Prenatal Fitness Journey

During my journey to conception it was the confidence in my practice that helped me stand up to the usual spiel about IVF. I practiced my conception sequence daily without fail.

In my first trimester, when nausea plagued me all the time, I slowed down and took it easy. My yoga teachers told me to stop practicing until my fourth month. I didn’t lie down with my legs up the wall, I didn’t do ‘slow’ surya namaskars or a ‘modified’ practice. Instead I went for long walks and listened to helpful podcasts. I knew I had to support my body in establishing a healthy and strong pregnancy. I demonstrated the bare minimum in class and slept when fatigue overcame me.

In my second trimester I traveled to Chamrajpet for an entire month to learn my prenatal yoga sequence. It included inversions and supta asanas for almost thirty minutes. I continued to demonstrate the bare minimum in class, and by now my students knew I was pregnant and put their minds and bodies through my instructions. My backbends were supported and handstand jumps were off the table. I was growing and exploring my hunger pangs (which included random things like Magnum ice cream bars).

Now in my third trimester I’m bigger than ever. The other day I told my teacher that I’m slower now. She cut my asana reps to just one on each side. She’s happy that this journey is healthful and vibrant for me and for her. Both teachers have told me to practice until the last day of my pregnancy. And to restart 4 months after I deliver. These days I can’t do 10000 steps at a stretch, so I split them into intervals. Sometimes if I overdo it the PGP comes back and then I have to consciously rest.

The Notion of Strength

I came across a personal trainer who looked at my arms deprecatingly and said, “You’ve lost some tone there.” The same trainer went on to tell me about other clients who’ve been running and lifting weights until the day they delivered. In my first trimester I read about such wonder women in ‘Yoga Sadhana for Mothers’ and it made my nausea worse. Whether it’s in the softness of my limbs or muscle tone, or my willingness to step back from tasks and classes that are ‘too much’ at the moment, this pregnancy has shown me I’m so much more than just my yoga. And that there is so much I can rely on in life than my yoga.

My own experience has convinced me that pregnancy is not a time to ‘prove’ things about my physical fitness.

The fact that a woman’s body goes through hormonal changes for 9 whole months as she gets heavier and slower shows what the female body is capable of. I didn’t pine after these asanas that many would consider were ‘lost’ to me. I still don’t feel I’ve ‘lost’ anything. The practice was, is and always will be mine. Which is why this narrative needs to stop, prenatal fitness is a whole different ball game.

I wonder if I had obsessed over the time I lost practicing, or fretted over my soft body, or forced myself to practice with the same intensity as before, would I have appreciated this journey and been prepared for the beautiful challenges yet to come?

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Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

The Best Pregnancy Advice I’ve Been Given

February 15, 2024

With my beautiful (and wise) Mohiniyattam teacher, Dr. Honey Unnikrishnan. Looking forward to dancing again, I didn’t think I would miss it so much.

The pregnancies of social media are vastly different from the pregnancies of real life. Pregnancies are about hormonal imbalance, lack of sleep, dark circles, the ‘pregnancy mask’, vomit, illness, crippling back pain….the list is endless. When a woman goes through this, she just wants to feel better. In my first trimester I leaned into my friends’ sympathising looks, my husband’s proactiveness in taking over the running of the house, and my students’ understanding when I’d be a few minutes late to class. The best pregnancy advice I’ve received also came to me during my first trimester.

My Mohiniyattam teacher, Dr. Honey Unnikrishnan, has been a pillar of support for me. In this video I speak about how Honey was the first person who noticed a change in my body. During one of our online dance sessions, she asked me why my feet were so heavy, was I tired? I said perhaps I was about to get my period in a few days. In a few days I was in Honey’s house cum dance school, and as many of you know, I feel implantation happened during those few days.

When I gave Honey the news she was ecstatic. From then on she made a point coming home every time she was in Bangalore to spend some time with me. She became an invaluable source of information, advice and wisdom. She’s the one who gave me the best pregnancy advice I’ve received so far.

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Books Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

My Pregnancy Reading Collection

February 5, 2024

Our friend Susanne lugged this copy all the way from Germany for me. This version isn’t available in India, but I’m sure the other versions are equally good. Also in the picture is the first onesie for our baby 💗.

In a talk I gave the other day on my pregnancy journey, I was asked to recommend trusted sources of information. My sources will always be books written by qualified experts. In the last few months (my pre-pregnancy and pregnancy phase) I read a lot of academic and research articles, blogs and books. I’ve complied a list of books that form my pregnancy reading collection (so far).

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Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

The Two Pregnancy Symptoms No One Tells You About

January 30, 2024

I’ve tried to document this pregnancy as much as possible. This is from a collection of photos we took on our baby moon to Sakleshpur.

Before I fell pregnant myself, pregnancy seemed pretty straight forward. You get big, sometimes cranky and start to waddle around. Some women glow, and some can’t stop eating.

While all the above is true, it is also only a superficial insight into pregnancy. Pregnancy encompasses a whole gamut of experiences that no one really talks about. For instance no one tells you ‘morning sickness’ is a misnomer, that it should actually be called ‘all day sickness’. That you might not throw up, but you’ll feel like throwing up all the time. Also that your digestion goes for a toss, regardless of what you eat/don’t eat. Also that sometimes your skin might break out. And also no one tells you about the constant fatigue, which in itself is fatiguing. But there are two pregnancy symptoms that no one seems to be talking about…

Two Pregnancy Symptoms No One Tells You About

1. Gingivitis

One night I did a double take and blanched at what I saw in the sink – I had just spit out dark pink toothpaste froth. I looked at my gums and couldn’t believe that blood could ooze out of your gums like that. Painless yet frightening. I recalled reading a little about this in ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting‘, but couldn’t remember what it said I should do. I sent a frantic message to my friend and dentist Teena, whose calm response did nothing to alleviate my panic. “It’s a normal pregnancy symptom Pragya. Use your water flosser regularly and come in for a cleaning.”

Gingivitis can happen during any trimester and usually peaks during the third. While the exact cause isn’t known, doctors speculate there could be several reasons for this.

Changes in hormones during pregnancy, specifically the increase in estrogen and progesterone. While these hormones are important for the growth of the baby, they also cause gum inflammation.
Increased volume of blood in a woman’s body, leading to more blood flow to the gum.
In addition to this, eating more frequently leaves your mouth exposed to more bacteria than usual.

What To Do

Brush twice a day and floss daily.
Salt water rinses – this actually helps to keep oral bacteria in check.

I remember an entire week where I’d wonder when the bleeding would stop, and eventually it did stop. So if you’re in the same boat, don’t worry too much about this, but make sure you’re maintaining as much oral hygiene as possible. And schedule an appointment with your dentist asap.

2. Nose bleeds

Sneezing blood is not what great pregnancy stories are made of. But many women, including me, have that unfortunate experience.

Nosebleeds happen because of the same reason that your gums bleed – there is so much more blood circulating through your system and hormones. In addition to this:

Blood vessels in the nose are delicate and can rupture easily – leading to nosebleeds.
Hormonal changes can leave pregnant women susceptible to allergies and colds – and these increase changes of nose bleeds.
Dehydration can also cause nosebleeds. During my first trimester drinking water made me nauseous and consequently my water intake reduced.

What To Do

Jal Neti to the rescue. I found that jal neti also helped calm the dry, raw skin inside my nostrils that can happen because of the dry weather or allergies.
Use pregnancy-safe balms around your nose to relax constricted blood vessels. This also lubricates the nostrils and eases the pain and discomfort.

Although nosebleeds are nothing to worry about, if it doesn’t stop then it’s a good idea to consult a doctor. Also if you’ve been diagnosed with high blood pressure, or feel dizzy and have problems breathing, then consult a doctor asap.

Besides these two pregnancy symptoms, there are so many others that women encounter. No two pregnancies are the same, so the symptoms vary from person to person. That said, there are so many things, such as PGP, which are just a game of hormones (as my yoga teacher likes to say), and you have to work on management rather than prevention. Thus far I’ve relied on my intuition and a fair amount of research to make decisions for myself, which has worked for me.

As always reaching out to friends and family can give you the support you need for a healthy and rewarding pregnancy. In case you have any questions about your experience, please leave a comment or email me on pragya.bhatt@gmail.com

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Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

Why Practicing Yoga Isn’t the Same as Working Out for Fertility

January 18, 2024

A not so candid moment during our baby moon.

In the last couple of months I’ve had conversations with many women who want to improve their hormonal health, and ask me about yoga for fertility and other tools that can help with that. Amongst other things I’ve noticed that many women equate yoga to a ‘workout’ when it comes to their health. Not only is this understanding incorrect, but it’s also misleading. It makes women think they are doing all they can by way of physical movement, but it might be harming you more than helping you.

Don’t get me wrong, I love working out – I love running and barre class. I’ve been working out consistently throughout my pregnancy, and making sure I get 10000 footsteps as often as I can. But during my journey to conception I noticed a very different message coming through from my teachers and alternative healers.

They asked me to slow down and relax. Calm down your system. And to be honest, for me that conjured visions of a bunch of old people slouching on their meditation pillows and chanting. I am more into mindfulness through movement – which is how I’ve carefully crafted my yoga practice over the years.

So when even my yoga teachers started putting me in lots of supine asanas, I started to wonder why the alternative healing community focused on slowing down, while the allopaths all wanted us to exercise and sweat it out. How is yoga different from working out (and working out can be anything from swimming, to running to going to the gym, or a sport)?

Yoga vs Working Out

Practicing yoga for fertility was a journey of trial and error.

When I first started practicing yoga to boost my fertility, my teacher put me on an intense regime of 20-25 backbends a day. And then one day she suddenly changed her approach – she kept me in supine asanas for almost half an hour. This was a whole new world of yoga practice, and it was unsettling.

Soon I observed that I felt good post this slowed down (allegedly boring) slow yoga (sloga?). It was palpable. It was tangible. I felt calm and balanced instead of stimulated and excited.

Which bring me to the first difference between yoga and exercise.

The change is internal, and you can feel it.

The parameters for a ‘good’ exercise session are usually external – that heady feeling post a quick run, bench pressing x amount, x footsteps in a day, and even the reduction of weight over a sustained period of time. Yoga sessions designed with your internal chemistry in mind will initially not give you a heady rush. The sense of well-being creeps up on you slowly, and sooner or later you’re bound to notice it. The point is that this change originates from within you, but we keep looking for an outward confirmation.

But patience goes a long way – when this transformation finally happens (as it undoubtedly will), you will start to move and even glow differently. Your connection with yourself will be stronger than ever. This is what held me in good stead when I repeatedly denied ART methods of conception.

Works on your (fertility) hormones.

Everything we do has an impact on our hormonal health, either enhancing or harming it. Even the face cream you use.

At unbalanced levels the cumulative stress on the body (physical, emotional etc) causes cortisol to be secreted. The presence of cortisol for long periods of time makes our bodies think we are constantly in flight or fight mode. This impacts your growth, digestion and reproductive system.

When we are not wired to see the benefit of stillness, we don’t know how much is too much exercise. This pregnancy journey has taught me an appreciation for the balance that stillness and contemplation that only yoga can give.

Yoga changes your internal landscape.

A well-crafted yoga sequence is like an exquisitely baked cake – made by mixing together the perfect quantities of the finest ingredients, whipped and baked by the most talented culinary expert who artfully contours the icing with the most delicate strokes.

It cajoles and gently remonstrates your wayward glands effecting a change in your hormonal composition. This is when and where the transformation begins. The aftermath of my pregnancy yoga routine has been feelings of contentment, wholesomeness and even happiness.

Reduces stress.

Many of us have an erroneous understanding of how stress inhabits our system. We believe stress to be temporary – often coming in the wake of tight deadlines or stifling family drama. Stress is actually the physiological impact that results from such events, and its impact outlasts the event that caused it. Much like pressure that builds up in a closed valve – the valve (your body) can take only a certain amount before it bursts.

Yoga slows down your body by first slowing down your mind. Yoga for fertility encourages practitioners to spend a lot of time moving mindfully (and slowly) from one asana to another. The movements become more intentional and mindful. Soon this movement becomes the norm for the practitioner.

Instead of time being reduced to 30 second sprint intervals on a treadmill, a yogi’s body starts to expand to fill time and space.

Our approach to exercise is lop-sided. The owner of a gym I used to teach in a few years ago advised me to design yoga routines that would have students crawling out of class in exhaustion. According to him that was the key to a successful class. Many of us believe that the more we sweat it out, the better it is for our body. This mentality needs to change. Slowing down enables us to explore bits and pieces of ourselves that require time and patience. Once we shine a light on these ignored aspects of our Self – our entire being glows with a new understanding. Going by what people have been telling me, this glow characterises my pregnancy.

That said, not all yoga classes focus on therapy – some are designed just to be a good sweat sesh (nothing wrong with that). But if you are looking to amplify your fertility through yoga, then you need to look for an experienced teacher who can help you customise a routine that works for you.

I talk more about this in this video on YouTube. Have a look.

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Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

The Doctor Who Ghosted Me

January 7, 2024

As many of you know, I’ve been largely disappointed by the medical fraternity (the allopathic one, that is) for my pregnancy. I speak about my experiences in this video. During my search for a compassionate and credible doctor, I tried “famous” doctors. The strangest doctor was The Doctor Who Ghosted Me.

I feel women should be vocal about their fertility issues because during my journey I found friends, friends of friends and even people on Instagram were more than happy to volunteer information and contacts. Instagram is where I heard about The Doctor Who Ghosted Me – a friend’s friend had shared a ‘he saved my life’ kind of posts and I quickly got in touch to find out more. Feeling a renewed sense of hope, I booked an appointment. It was gratifying to see the crowded waiting room at the hospital. It meant the doctor was in high demand.

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Pregnancy/Parenting Notes Prenatal

Pelvic Girdle Pain (PGP) – A (Literal) Pain in the Ass

January 2, 2024

Source: https://thebackbone.co.uk/pelvic-girdle-pain-pgp/

Prior to actually falling pregnant I never really understood pregnancy back pain. About three months into my pregnancy I started feeling an unfamiliar pain whenever I turned over in bed, or slid off the bolsters after cross-bolster setubandha sarvangasana. Basically, whenever my weight was unevenly supported by my pelvis. This kind of pain is common and is referred to as Pelvic Girdle Pain (PGP) and also Pubic Symphysis Dysfunction (PSD).

About 2 in 5 women experience this pain, so it’s more common than we think.

This pain occurs in different areas of the pelvis, such as the groin, the buttocks (similar to sciatica), the thighs, the lower back, or the hips. I sometimes even feel a clicking in my pelvic joints (even now, 6 months into the pregnancy). But thankfully, I’ve been able to successfully manage the pain through regular yoga and conscious movement.

Causes

There are many causes for Pelvic Girdle Pain. It can be related to previous injuries or even the natural structural build of a woman. The weight of the growing baby also puts added strain on a woman’s pelvis, which can be a contributing factor. Other factors are:

The most common reason is the hormone relaxin which is released during pregnancy by the ovaries and the placenta. This hormone loosens the muscles and ligaments and enable your pelvis to enlarge to let the baby to descend down and out of the vagina. In short, relaxin makes labor and delivery easier. The downside is that relaxin also affects other joints in the body, which are responsible for postural changes during pregnancy. These can also lead to back pain, but can be managed with yoga therapy or the help of a good physiotherapist.
An unstable pelvis. This causes body weight to load one side of the body which puts repeated uneven stress on one side of the body. This is why this pain can sometimes be felt after an active day. If you’ve been able to identify what aggravates this pain, you should avoid it. Ignoring the pain won’t help – the pain only gets worse.
In some cases the position of the baby in-utero can also cause PGP.
Weak core muscles.
Tight muscles.
Inflammation of the muscles and ligaments.

Yoga for PGP

Viparita Karani helps to relax and align the lower back. Make sure to use a bolster for extra comfort and width on the pelvis.

Viparita Karani helps to relax and align the lower back. Make sure to use a bolster for extra comfort and width for the pelvis.

Make sure to keep your legs wide to accommodate the growing belly.

You can give more support to your lower back using another bolster.

In the prenatal yoga classes I attended, my teacher taught me this variation – where you can give more support to your lower back using another bolster. It seems like a small and insignificant change – but on many days this variation felt extra soothing.

Widen your legs.

Supta padangushtasana B is wonderful to stabilise the pelvis. Do it on both sides for about 2 minutes each, and don’t forget the bolster under the extended leg. The height of the leg isn’t important – in fact, you might feel better if you reduce the angle between the legs.

Remedies/Precautions

Early on I realised that demonstrating asanas in yoga class aggravated the pain because we often only demonstrate on one side. Since then I’ve been very cautious about the kinds of asanas I demonstrate and often opt not to demonstrate at all, relying on oral instructions.
I’ve moved two bolsters to my bedroom and now sleep with them between my knees. (Also, it’s recommended to sleep on the left side, and I usually do this.)
Although many women continue to lift heavy weights in the gym, or even lift and carry their toddlers or groceries – this puts uneven strain on your back. Even for women who are used to heavy lifting – the added hormones and growing belly makes your back vulnerable. For this reason I eliminated the tree pose and natrajasana from my practice.
I also found that crossing my legs when sitting at my desk causes the pain, probably because of the uneven weight distribution. So I consciously changed the way I sit.
As much as possible sit in baddhakonasana, sukhasana or upavishta konasana with your back supported.
During the prenatal yoga classes I attended, my teacher would remind me to not rush and move slowly, more consciously. This really helps as it reduces the chances of something getting inadvertently tweaked.
Icing reduces inflammation.
Water based activities – like aqua yoga, aqua zumba, swimming or even just walking back and forth in the pool help a lot because it strengthens your muscles while supporting about 70% of your body weight.
Rest it out.

Because there is no one reason for why this pain occurs, prevention is better than cure. But, because pregnancy is also a game of hormones, it’s not always possible to prevent pelvic girdle pain, and you might need to just manage the symptoms.

Hope this helps!

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Food Pregnancy/Parenting Notes

The Joys of Fenugreek

January 20, 2014

Some other spices I frequently use in my cooking.

I guess we’ve come a full circle in terms of appreciating the health benefits of traditional Indian cooking and spices. From mindlessly eating spicy food, to eschewing spice in favor of bland food to the present when we know that moderation is the key. Lately we’ve started re-discovering the health benefits of the spices that we’ve been using and consuming for years. One such spice is methi or fenugreek.

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