Kalindi and me on her first Independence Day – India’s 78th.
While I was pregnant my husband got me a notebook that has writing prompts for letters to our unborn child. A time capsule of sorts, to be given to the child on their 18th birthday. The other day the prompt was “My wishes for you are…”.
As a woman living in one of the fastest developing nation, I straddle the delicate balance between the haves and the have nots. I often wonder about independence. For most women in India today, to be independent is to be financially independent. But over the years I’ve noticed that making your own money is worth nothing if you don’t have the freedom to spend it. Thus, independence for a privileged woman in a developing nation, is a nuanced concept. Privilege itself is a nuanced concept.
Now that I’m a mother I often think about ‘when I was a kid’ – my decisions, my vulnerabilities, those I looked to for help and support, those who came forward to help, those who looked away, the things that meant a lot, the things that shouldn’t have meant so much etc. And I hope I can give my baby an upbringing reflective of all that I’ve learned instead of all my cumulative fears.
The women of my generation and social strata were encouraged to pursue academic excellence, but we never considered lighting the way for less fortunate women. Will my daughter grow up (as she certainly will) to be an educated woman, but oblivious to the illiteracy that stunts her country women? I hope over time I can show her that independence doesn’t mean only speaking up for yourself, but also speaking up for those who can’t speak for themselves.
I hope my daughter will grow up to enjoy the many privileges that we will most certainly provide for her. But I also hope she has the sensitivity to appreciate the power that comes with these privileges. And the independence to use her standing as a woman of uncommon education and privilege to help those who were dealt an unfair hand.
The women of my generation were encouraged to speak up, but within limits tacitly established by the self-proclaimed guardians of culture. I hope my daughter grows up as an Indian woman who can speak up unfettered by the invisible shackles of decency and societal expectations.
On this Independence Day, India’s 78th, I hope that my daughter’s generation grows up with heart and goodwill, to change things for everyone, instead of only for themselves. For freedom and independence can’t be a privilege to be enjoyed by a precious few, but the birthright of everyone who belongs to this magnificent nation. 🇮🇳
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