pregnancy blog Archives - yogawithpragya

First Trimester – A Recap

April 11, 2024

Now that I’m in my third trimester I wanted to do a recap of my first. Here’s a detailed video about it. I hope this blog resonates with other women who are on the conception/pregnancy journey. It’s also serves as a record of this very special time in my life.

Something ‘Was Up’

I first knew something ‘was up’ when my period was late. I was in Nagpur to train with Honey Unnikrishnan, my Mohiniyattam teacher. I expected to get my period towards the end of my time there. It was a strenuous five days, with up to 10 hours of dancing daily.

During the two week wait, women are told to rest and relax. But I had spent numerous two-week-waits resting and relaxing unsuccessfully, and didn’t want to miss out on dancing with my teacher. My period was never late, and I chalked it up to all the rigorous physical training I was doing.

In Nagpur with my Mohiniyattam teacher, Honey Unnikrishnan.

The Positive Pregnancy Test

I’ve had numerous negative pregnancy tests. I wasn’t eager for yet another one. But we were headed to Goa, and I wanted to make sure that it was OK to do eat drink and make merry while I was there.

I did a home pregnancy test and it was positive. It was the result we’d been waiting for but now that I had it, I couldn’t believe it. Later that day my doctor confirmed the pregnancy through a TVS scan. I will never forget her words. “This is a medical miracle! You’re a medical miracle!”

For the four days we were in Goa I was paranoid about losing the pregnancy, so I kept checking to make sure I wasn’t bleeding. It was an unsettling feeling. The entire vacation felt different, although we weren’t doing anything different from what we usually do in Goa. My mornings had changed though – I could no longer stand the smell or taste of coffee. In a way this was the first casualty of my pregnancy hormones.

Our Goa trip was probably our first and only trip during the first trimester.

Riverside dinners in Goa.

My Symptoms

Never have I experienced hunger like I did in my first trimester. I once ordered and ate an entire pizza before dinner, and went on to have the a full dinner. I desperately wanted to maintain a balanced and healthy diet – but that hunger was phenomenal and during the first trimester (or even afterwards) I never denied myself food. Also, if I tried to ‘ignore’ my hunger then I’d be nauseous. Elaichi (cardamom) also helped to keep the nausea at bay.

I also discovered that ‘morning sickness’ is a misnomer. My nausea lasted all day. It would get worse if I ate too little, but also if I ate too much. When I spoke to my doctor about this she replied, “Be thankful that you’re eating.”

Women always remember their pregnancy food cravings. In my first trimester I had few cravings, but many aversions. I didn’t want any hot liquids like tea or even soup. I couldn’t stand the thought of foods I felt were “heavy” like millets and rajma. I didn’t even like the taste of water. I ate white rice, wheat rotis and had sips of water. Also, my cravings changed every two weeks!

What I did like though was slightly spicy food. And pickles!

I think knowing what I wanted to eat and didn’t made it easier to plan the menu. Also listening to my cravings instead of blindly following a diet helped the cravings and aversions easier to manage.

What I wasn’t ready for was the intense fatigue. I wanted to crawl into bed as soon as I put my students into savasana. I took multiple naps through the day. I slept more in my first trimester than I ever have.

Overall my first trimester was great because I was traveling and eating well and the pregnancy was a strong, healthy one.

Rakhi during my first trimester. Some of my clothes had started to become snug.

Exercise

I discovered that walking was a great way to keep the digestive system moving (which sometimes gets sluggish because of all the pregnancy hormones). Also, it helped with the nausea. So I borrowed a smart watch from my mother in law and aimed to get 10000 steps in daily. I even studied for a Sanskrit exam while pacing the hallway in my house!

I also did some yoga. My doctor was a bit concerned about this, but as she saw the pregnancy blooming, she supported my fitness initiatives. Didn’t do challenging or advanced asanas. I demonstrated in class, but was very very careful. I had a routine designed for me by my teachers and I stuck to that. Pre-natal yoga isn’t about conquering new asanas, or proving that your body can bend deeply despite a pregnancy, but about preparing the body for the changes that are inevitable on this journey. I think this made me appreciate yoga a lot more.

I stopped Mohiniyattam though. My teacher felt it’s for the best as I’d only been dancing for a year and, unlike with yoga, I may not be able to control how hard I bend, stretch or stamp my feet.

I went to Goa again with my mother in law and two of her friends. Read my blog on it here.

Many women have asked me what I did differently that month to get pregnant. I’ve wondered the same thing. The only difference I can think of now is that I decided to focus on what made me happy, which was my practice, whether Mohiniyattam or yoga. Or maybe it was a little luck and a lot of faith.

Yogis on display somewhere in Goa.

3 Comments

Pregnancy Notes

Empowered to Advocate for Myself

March 5, 2024

It's been a long journey but it's taught me to advocate for myself.

A still from our maternity photoshoot.

I feel empowered to advocate for myself today. The journey to conception has variegated shades. For many it’s as easy (or as inconvenient) as an accident. For others it’s about cycle tracking, second guessing, fretting and despairing. The other day in Vedanta class we were talking about how if you live consciously, every event in life, whether good or bad can help in inner growth. My conception journey, and subsequent pregnancy, have actually been a time of immense growth for me.

I’ve come across many women whose health issues have led to a deeper and more meaningful connection to themselves. In this conversation with filmmaker Roopal Kewalaya, we spoke about how she experienced a closer connection to herself because of her experience with endometriosis and how she now feels that illness is your friend, not an enemy. It’s a wonderful, heartening conversation that all women should watch.

✅ Don’t give in to paranoia.

When I first started on my journey to conception I met a lot of doctors who had a spiel about maternal age, IVF and all the things that could go wrong. I speak about it in my video about my first trimester that you can watch here.

I also met an acupuncturist told me that even a ‘normal’ woman ovulates only once every two months, which is 6 times a year. When I cross questioned her she told me this is what all the books say and if I worked with her she could have me ovulating every month. This was factually incorrect. Also, there was nothing wrong with my ovulation cycles.

I also met a fitness professional told me that I probably had diastasis recti because ‘all women do’. According to my research it wasn’t that clear cut. So I asked my doctor to check and she said it’s not something that I have to worry about – those bumps look very different from mine.

These experiences can make any woman paranoid. But they also emphasise the importance of a pause – I remember I needed all my energy to confidently advocate for myself.

✅ Say no to pushy doctors.

There are all kinds of bullies in the medical fraternity.

A radiologist I got to know well once said about a famous doctor that “…she has a terrible bedside manner but her rates of conception are very high”. The doctor in question might be a great doctor but she has no right to be rude and aggressive with patients. I’ve read review after review about her online where women talk about leaving her office in tears. I remember I stood up and literally stormed out of this doctor’s office as she was mid-sentence.

A disrespectful doctor will continue to bully you (just like any other bully). You might be coerced to do what they feel is right for you. But I’ve learned that if a doctor doesn’t inspire a 100% faith and trust in you, they are usually not right for you – in fact they are terrible for your mental health, which feeds into your physical health. Standing up to bullies is one way you can advocate for yourself.

✅ Research exhaustively.

The more doctors I consulted the more IVF sales pitches I got. Many of my questions were dismissed and my fears weren’t addressed. I was not only unhappy, but also dissatisfied.

Eventually I decided to do my own research. I refused to blindly trust the information that was coming my way. Instead I looked for studies and data. I read a lot of books and blogs. I channelled my anxious energy into research on infertility and women’s health.

Health issues can make many women feel vulnerable. When we operate from a space of vulnerability instead of peace we’re rarely thinking rationally. This reflects in the decisions we make. Instead of looking at illness as some kind of punishment, I love Roopal’s take on it – that illness is your body trying to communicate with you.

In my case the journey has taught me to unequivocally, unapologetically and powerfully advocate for myself.

0 Comments

Pregnancy Notes

The Disturbing Narrative Rampant in the Prenatal Fitness Domain

February 25, 2024

There’s a disturbing narrative rampant in the prenatal fitness domain. It’s about women being encouraged to push themselves to continue their workouts with the same intensity as before they fell pregnant. Many coaches are even saying that you can get stronger during the pregnancy. The first time I heard this I involuntarily cringed.

The last 8 months have been transformative for me on many levels, including the physical. I’ve always maintained (perhaps controversially) that my life is not structured around my yoga, but that my yoga is structured around my life. I think this is the reason behind my robust sense of intuition.

My Prenatal Fitness Journey

During my journey to conception it was the confidence in my practice that helped me stand up to the usual spiel about IVF. I practiced my conception sequence daily without fail.

In my first trimester, when nausea plagued me all the time, I slowed down and took it easy. My yoga teachers told me to stop practicing until my fourth month. I didn’t lie down with my legs up the wall, I didn’t do ‘slow’ surya namaskars or a ‘modified’ practice. Instead I went for long walks and listened to helpful podcasts. I knew I had to support my body in establishing a healthy and strong pregnancy. I demonstrated the bare minimum in class and slept when fatigue overcame me.

In my second trimester I traveled to Chamrajpet for an entire month to learn my prenatal yoga sequence. It included inversions and supta asanas for almost thirty minutes. I continued to demonstrate the bare minimum in class, and by now my students knew I was pregnant and put their minds and bodies through my instructions. My backbends were supported and handstand jumps were off the table. I was growing and exploring my hunger pangs (which included random things like Magnum ice cream bars).

Now in my third trimester I’m bigger than ever. The other day I told my teacher that I’m slower now. She cut my asana reps to just one on each side. She’s happy that this journey is healthful and vibrant for me and for her. Both teachers have told me to practice until the last day of my pregnancy. And to restart 4 months after I deliver. These days I can’t do 10000 steps at a stretch, so I split them into intervals. Sometimes if I overdo it the PGP comes back and then I have to consciously rest.

The Notion of Strength

I came across a personal trainer who looked at my arms deprecatingly and said, “You’ve lost some tone there.” The same trainer went on to tell me about other clients who’ve been running and lifting weights until the day they delivered. In my first trimester I read about such wonder women in ‘Yoga Sadhana for Mothers’ and it made my nausea worse. Whether it’s in the softness of my limbs or muscle tone, or my willingness to step back from tasks and classes that are ‘too much’ at the moment, this pregnancy has shown me I’m so much more than just my yoga. And that there is so much I can rely on in life than my yoga.

My own experience has convinced me that pregnancy is not a time to ‘prove’ things about my physical fitness.

The fact that a woman’s body goes through hormonal changes for 9 whole months as she gets heavier and slower shows what the female body is capable of. I didn’t pine after these asanas that many would consider were ‘lost’ to me. I still don’t feel I’ve ‘lost’ anything. The practice was, is and always will be mine. Which is why this narrative needs to stop, prenatal fitness is a whole different ball game.

I wonder if I had obsessed over the time I lost practicing, or fretted over my soft body, or forced myself to practice with the same intensity as before, would I have appreciated this journey and been prepared for the beautiful challenges yet to come?

A photo shoot I did to document my prenatal fitness.

Trusting the process.

1 Comment

Pregnancy Notes

The Doctor Who Ghosted Me

January 7, 2024

As many of you know, I’ve been largely disappointed by the medical fraternity (the allopathic one, that is) for my pregnancy. I speak about my experiences in this video. During my search for a compassionate and credible doctor, I tried “famous” doctors. The strangest doctor was The Doctor Who Ghosted Me.

I feel women should be vocal about their fertility issues because during my journey I found friends, friends of friends and even people on Instagram were more than happy to volunteer information and contacts. Instagram is where I heard about The Doctor Who Ghosted Me – a friend’s friend had shared a ‘he saved my life’ kind of posts and I quickly got in touch to find out more. Feeling a renewed sense of hope, I booked an appointment. It was gratifying to see the crowded waiting room at the hospital. It meant the doctor was in high demand.

The Doctor Who Ghosted Me

He came across as open, friendly and even compassionate, a welcome change from the other doctors I’d met. He was uncharacteristically laid-back about IVF, saying he believes it to be physically, emotionally and financially draining. It was refreshing to meet a doctor who wasn’t aggressively selling IVF, and I appreciated this fresh approach. But when I told him my history of yoga practice, he said he’d heard that yoga helps but since he’s never met anyone it has actually helped, he can’t comment on it. When I told him I’d done a few acupuncture sessions he said acupuncture didn’t work for his debilitating backache.

Before he took out his prescription pad he seemed to think, and looked up once again. “You’re sure you don’t want to try IVF, correct?” he asked. I nodded and said, “Yes.”

He wrote prescription detailing the steps we can take for more clarity on what is happening. “And this is it,” he said. “You don’t have to come in to see me again. Scan your reports and email them to me. I will respond within an hour.” It seemed to good to be true.

The next month I mailed him my report and got prompt replies from him. Things looked good and we would monitor another cycle. Month 2 came around and I emailed him my reports as usual.

“Attached is my scan from today. Apparently there’s a new submucosal fibroid that hadn’t been detected before,” I wrote to him. “Is it something to worry about? What are my next steps?”

“We had planned three cycles right?” he wrote back.

“Yes, I meant does this new finding change how we will proceed. In terms of medication etc.,” I wrote back.

I never heard back from him.

Takeaways

Someone else’s personal experience doesn’t foreshadow yours. This doctor worked well for the girl who recommended him to me. Since he’s known for hysterectomies, I wasn’t his usual patient profile and therefore not lucrative enough for him. This is a sad but real fact.
A doctor who makes you feel bad about asking questions, or doesn’t answer your questions is not a good doctor. Not all doctors are created equal and you owe it to yourself to find the best you can.
From the numerous women I’ve met, I know that most women aren’t doing their research (because of overwhelm, anxiety, feelings of inadequacy and incompetence etc), and this needs to change. As women we need to do our research. Much of what we hear is opinion or myth and the more you research the more you’ll be able to separate myth from fact. I read books and research papers and listened to podcasts about many of the queries I had. This helped to ask the right questions. This also empowered me to gauge whether a doctor would actually work with me or was only interested his/her bottom line.

In retrospect I feel that this doctor was probably uncomfortable with a woman who was was forthright, informed, confident about her decisions and had ownership of her body and mind. Maybe it’s easier for men to ghost such women, than to hold a conversation as equals with them.

0 Comments